At Least You Went\u2026 Why the hell would I name a blog this? Because it’s true. To a point. We all wake up at one point or another in the morning with the feeling of \u201cfuck my life, go back to sleep\u201d! Then we have a decision to make: be a lazy bastard? (Sorry. I don\u2019t know the lady version of bastard or I would have inserted it here) or get the hell up and get after it? So what do I mean when I say that? I\u2019ll do my best here. I hope. Hmmm, maybe my worst but this feels important so I guess we\u2019ll see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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There was this day roughly nine years ago when I was driving to work and I was absolutely positive that I had a minor heart attack. Probably. It wasn\u2019t as dramatic as what you might see on daytime TV, I actually finished my commute and thankfully arrived safely. My boss at the time (much cooler than my last one) looked at me and said \u201cbuddy, you look like shit\u201d. I thanked her for the compliment and then told her what I thought had happened. \u201cJesus, go see your doctor!\u201d she tells me. Like many jackass guys in their early 30\u2019s I didn\u2019t have one, so I got that sorted out quickly. Turns out when you call a doctor and they say they aren\u2019t taking new patients and then you tell them you think you might\u2019ve just had a heart attack, they\u2019ll squeeze you in that<\/em> day. Life Hack! To get to the maybe near death punchline, the process took too long so I wasn\u2019t able to get a proper diagnosis by the time I finally made it to the E.R. after the doctor visit. So maybe I had a cardiac event, maybe I didn’t. Regardless, it was scary as hell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n So I had some decisions to make, which is clearly an understatement. I was incredibly depressed at the time. I had recently lost my wife to cancer and made the sensible decision to take comfort in corn dogs, pizza, Camel cigarettes and Miller Lite. All things that would be considered leading factors in your trusty heart just saying: “I’ve had enough of this shit”. When you’re really depressed you can actually come to the realization that you’re not actually suicidally <\/em>depressed by having a (real or incredibly vividly imagined) near death experience. Anyway, I like to think I made the correct subsequent decision and joined a gym down the street from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n This is not<\/em> a gym-motivational piece.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n OK, maybe it is just a little. However there\u2019s a larger concept that I hope to make some sensible points of, friends. I\u2019m not going to go all over-jacked and tan personal trainer yelling \u201cPUSH IT!\u201d in your face. Mostly because this is a written medium making it literally impossible to do so but even more mostly (?) because I\u2019m not much of a yeller.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n What I had decided, ultimately, was to start taking better care of myself. The gym was a somewhat familiar ground in which to start, as when I was 19 plus\/minus a year I was a total gym rat. Then college happened and next thing I knew I had taken a 15 year break. Lot’s of 12 ounce curls but that was about the extent of it. However it was a starting block in the Don\u2019t Accidentally Kill Yourself on Purpose wall that I was now determined to build. (Side note: DAKYoP would have been an even worse name for this blog but I digress) <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n So I went, and full disclosure: probably 10 of the first 13 times I went (including the first 5) I got to the parking lot, got self conscious, chickened out and went home. At the time this made none of the sense at all but in retrospect it makes perfect sense because motivation tends to be bullshit. See? Not a gym-motivational piece. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Motivation is shit.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n When many people think about what motivates us, it is usually not with a modest result in mind. No, I\u2019m not talking about getting delicious take-out or making sure you don\u2019t miss happy hour. I mean doing things that can actually impact our lives, health and prosperity. Now before you call me a total loser, yes, lofty goals can be good, great and grand. You should want<\/em> to achieve something that is great. Holy Balls, I would say that having over a million readers a month would be an amazing and lofty motivational goal for me. At the time of writing this however the number is substantially<\/em> closer to zero. I’ve been working on this for over three months and I’ve barely got a semi-functional website at the moment to share it on. And there it is: if I expected to hit this goal easily and right out of the gate: I would\u2019ve quit already. If the only<\/em> thing you focus on is the ultimate motivation then it\u2019s likely not to work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Back to the gym for a quick analogy: I\u2019ve been a regular for about 8 years or so and right about now it\u2019s the annoying New Year’s Resolution People time. Look, I can definitely appreciate that they want to better themselves (before anyone overreacts and starts “@-ing\u201d me please read all the previous lines in this article) but by Valentines Day 90% of them are gone. Why? Because shockingly, after 6 weeks they don\u2019t look like the cover model on Men\u2019s Health (or Women\u2019s Health!). It\u2019s the same deal as the people who quit a new job after 6 months because they\u2019re not the fucking CEO already. The only thing that happens overnight is generally a good nights sleep. And hopefully good sex. And ideally both, but let’s not meander too far off topic. Though it would be a good night… OK. I’m done. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Trust the Process.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n So here\u2019s the deal: dream big, shoot for the stars and have more ambition than Ghengis Khan (though from a macro level he WAS kind of a dickbag but you get what I mean you conquering son of a gun. Yes, OK or you daughter of a gun. Maybe we just made that a thing. Like \u201cFetch\u201d never was). The bigger point that I\u2019m ambling towards here is that we have to figure out how to get there and then take steps, regardless of how incremental, to do so. Sounds sensible enough but much like I talked about how we can gaslight ourselves in a previous post, it\u2019s easy to talk ourselves out of a goal when it takes longer than expected or presents difficulties that we did not anticipate. I almost did it to myself shortly after starting this project. I was paralyzed by \u201cuh\u2026 well now what the fuck do I do\u201d? Well thank you for asking, I will tell you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve been watching these motivational videos in the morning on Youtube for years that are basically mashups of people doing what I said I wouldn\u2019t do to you, loyal reader, which is essentially yell \u201c GET AFTER IT!\u201d while a montage of videos of super fit people working out and playing sports is on the screen. Hey, at 4 a.m. sometimes you need a little more than a coffee to get going. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Anyhow, after a hundred or so views of a couple of my go to videos I listened <\/em>to some of the actual words coming out of peoples mouths and got a few points that apply to life outside of just getting swole at the gym. I\u2019ll paraphrase the first one that came from Jocko Willink, former Navy Seal Commander and best selling author. It\u2019s along the lines that people like to say that \u201cthings aren\u2019t going my way right now\u201d and that we wait for the perfect time, for the stars to align and everything be just right before we do something. Well guess what? Things aren\u2019t going to \u201cjust go your way\u201d, you have to make them go your way. We do that by simply starting to do what we want to achieve, even if we aren’t sure how to start The perfect time to start? It\u2019s right now. If you\u2019ve been reading, well then you know things haven\u2019t exactly been going my way for quite some time now and like I just said: \u201cwell now what the fuck do I do?\u201d. Well, I do \u201cIT\u201d now. I just sat down and forced myself to start somewhere. See if I can still write anything interesting. Google how to start a blog. Watch hours of tutorials on how to make a basic functioning website. I\u2019m still working on it but hey, I\u2019m still working towards<\/em> something. The second one comes from Eric Thomas and basically sums up the last few lines: \u201cIt\u2019s the process that makes you sweet\u201d. I absolutely love that. It basically means crush the things that you have control over. Get up early, bring your best self to work, study and learn on your own time, sacrifice bullshit when you need to and be willing to put in the effort. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n So Yeah, At Least You Went.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n So yes, and I apologize, I\u2019m going to wrap this up with another gym thing. I think ALYW has other meanings but I really don\u2019t give a fuck because I coined it for myself a few years ago. I realized after a few months that starting my day with some exercise made me feel substantially better for the rest of the day. I had routines and plans and all that stuff but just like anyone else, there were days I woke up and just did not feel at all like doing a damn thing. So there were mornings that I would drag myself there, do 50-75% of my normal routine and that was it. I have a calendar that I keep track of my workouts on and one day I just wrote on it: \u201cALYW\u201d. At Least You Went. I put in work towards the process of not Accidentally Killing Myself on Purpose. I apply it to other aspects of life: work, relationships, learning. But don\u2019t ever, never ever my friends, use it as an excuse to half ass your way through shit. Instead: when you have those days that you wake up exhausted, are anxiety ridden about trying something new or just feel overwhelmed and don\u2019t know where to start? Do something, anything, that moves you forward. When you are finished with that something then THAT will provide actual motivation to keep working because you will feel better that you didn\u2019t just give up, that you ARE working toward that goal. You just had a victory. Winning feels good, right? Build on that and take those victories as steps toward the ultimate goal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n I am by no means a superhero or elite athlete or certified genius but I persist. Nope, I am not perfect in doing so at all but At Least I Went. If I went, then I know that you can too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" At Least You Went\u2026 Why the hell would I name a blog this? Because it’s true. To a point. We all wake up at one point or another in the morning with the feeling of \u201cfuck my life, go back to sleep\u201d! Then we have a decision to make: be a lazy bastard? (Sorry. I …<\/p>\n